Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Phrases and Script



1.From Teller at the bank- “Serving you is our business, but it is also my pleasure”
2.From a customer to teller- “Never be too nice to people when they are being mean to you”
3.From brother-in-law to me- “Did you saw the north face jacket the guy was wearing?”
4.From customer to teller -“You colored your hair again?”
5.From neighbor to husband- “You will be a good father” 

SCRIPT
 *From a customer to teller- “Never be too nice to people when they are being mean to you”

One afternoon Teller was taking care of an interesting customer. The customer is one of our daily customers; he walked in with a checked that was payable to him and his ex-wife.

Teller Tanya: Good afternoon Mr. Jackson
Customer Mr. Jackson:  Good afternoon Tanya, how are ya?
Teller: good thanks to the lord,
                How can I help you today?
(Customer is taking out his wallet to show his Identification, debit card and his check)
 Customer: I will like to deposit this check into my account 
  (Teller open his account information)
 Teller:  Yes I’ll go ahead and take care of that (she realizes that the check is payable to him and women)Who is the other person? (she asked)
Customer:  that’s my ex-wife we sold and that a tax refunded
Teller: Because of the amount the your ex-wife need to be here as well Mr. Jackson
 (Customer tries to called her at her job but she doesn’t answer even though she was expecting   the called in case he had problem at the bank) 
 (Customer continue to called but no luck, leaving a rude voicemail)
Customer:  leaving a voicemail to ex-wife” why in the f*** aren’t you answering the phone wha$$ the f@#@”
 Customer: my f*** ex-wife already knew to stay near her job phone or cell phone, even though she thought I was going to give her this check to her
 (Customer continue to call and she finally answer, she will be at the bank in 15 minutes)
 Customer: ”Never be too nice to people when they are  mean to you”
Teller: ask why are you saying that Mr. Jackson?
 Customer: she thought she was going to keep this check that I was going to feel sorry but I have to stop being nice she kept my house and my Cadillac truck which her new boyfriend is also driving you can’t be nice to people when they are taking advantage of you.
Customer: she seriously thought I was going to give her this check but oh no, she thought wrong even though she was driving my truck
 (Teller speechless didn’t knew that say, but continue with the transaction)
 Teller: would you like to wait in lobby while she gets here?
Customer: yes I’ll wait?
  (Customer walked to the lobby and took at seat by coffee table, minutes passed and nothing)
  (Finally the ex-wife walks into the bank and they come up the same teller Tanya)
 Teller: can I see your information again? May I please see your ID asked to the ex-wife?
 (Ex-wife shows her information to the teller)
Customer: tells the ex-wife whey weren’t you answering the phone if you expected my called.
Ex-wife:  (just stay quiet and smiles)
Teller: ok Mr. Jackson I already deposited your checked into your account.
Customer: thank you! You have a good day!

1 comment:

  1. This is a good attempt. Two main things.
    1. The story ends when the man waits. Everything that happens with the wife doesn't really matter.
    2. It doesn't feel authentic for the man to give his backstory to the teller. Instead, have it come through in the phone call to his ex. "You thought I'd just give you this check? You're already driving my truck", etc... The man should be lost in the world of the phone call, then we he hangs up and realizes the teller has been listening, he can deliver the phrase ”Never be too nice to people when they are mean to you”.

    ReplyDelete